But to say that 2017 was a cluster-fuck of a shit-storm of a bad year is a little unfair when I stop and remember the brief flashes of reprieve to which I was privy. I was able to be a part of my cousin’s wedding, and was well-liked enough to be invited to another one. I got to watch my friends succeed in their jobs, get accepted to graduate school, and otherwise find their place in the world. I got to be excited about being a parent with my partner for about two months.
And regardless of how many times 2017 kicked me in the genitals, I was able to rely on the theater to give me a couple of hours where I didn’t have to be reminded of the world crashing down around me. Except when I went to see Coco. If you ever want to see a grown man ugly-cry… Fortunately for my sanity, 2017 was a banner year for my favorite form of escapism: The Superhero Movie. If you needed any more proof that nerds rule the planet, look no further than your local multiplex, where no fewer than six comic book movies graced the silver screens. What’s more, 83% of these movies were really fucking good! Since it’s the end of the year, I can’t afford a therapist, and I haven’t written anything since 2016, let’s do an obligatory ranking of the superhero movies of 2017.
Spoilers, obviously.
6) Justice League
Well, they couldn’t all be good. Overshadowed by a troubled production, it seems almost unfair to judge Justice League based solely on its own merits. Then I remember that despite the extensive reshoots and the ‘under two hours’ mandate, Warner Bros. decided to release this Frankenstein of a movie anyway, so it is my Shiva-given right to eviscerate it (YAY!). Let’s start with Cyborg. I really like Cyborg’s arc about being an ‘accident’ and a ‘monster’ and not really understanding his powers, but for the love of Buddha, can we please get a better character design for this guy? Not only does the CGI on him look like its 15 years old, but I feel like we never got a chance to see Cyborg proper. Before you get on your high horse about “well in his upcoming solo movie…” No. Stop that. That would be like waiting two movies and three years before seeing Iron Man’s Mark III armor. I’m all for upgrading as you go, but damn, it looks like they just didn’t finish rendering his character model and were like, “Well, he looks like shit but we have a release date to hit so… cut and print!”
More than just the familiar beats, the movie is mostly forgettable. It’s hard to pull out memorable quotes or sequences besides the big twist near the end of the movie. This doesn’t make Homecoming bad by any means, but it is interesting to see that the most popular, recognizable character in comic books produced a movie that that was mostly just fine and we’re counting it as a win.
But honestly, this is a minor gripe. Ragnarok was easily the most fun I’ve had at the movies this year. Hemsworth was finally able to lean into the ridiculousness of the character to give us a Thor performance (per-Thor-mance?) that we haven’t seen yet, which to me is great since I feel like he’s been one of the weaker links in the MCU for a while now. Valkyrie was a welcome new addition and one that I hope keeps popping up in future flicks, Loki was able to save the day without betraying his character, Hulk being able to talk added another dimension to Mark Ruffalo’s performance, Jeff Goldblum was at his Blumiest, and Cate Blanchett was… well, a standard Marvel villain, but damn if she didn’t look good doing it. And when the Hell are we going to get a Korg webseries?!
One Last Look
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| Get it the fuck outta here before it kills again! |
Spoilers, obviously.
6) Justice League
Well, they couldn’t all be good. Overshadowed by a troubled production, it seems almost unfair to judge Justice League based solely on its own merits. Then I remember that despite the extensive reshoots and the ‘under two hours’ mandate, Warner Bros. decided to release this Frankenstein of a movie anyway, so it is my Shiva-given right to eviscerate it (YAY!). Let’s start with Cyborg. I really like Cyborg’s arc about being an ‘accident’ and a ‘monster’ and not really understanding his powers, but for the love of Buddha, can we please get a better character design for this guy? Not only does the CGI on him look like its 15 years old, but I feel like we never got a chance to see Cyborg proper. Before you get on your high horse about “well in his upcoming solo movie…” No. Stop that. That would be like waiting two movies and three years before seeing Iron Man’s Mark III armor. I’m all for upgrading as you go, but damn, it looks like they just didn’t finish rendering his character model and were like, “Well, he looks like shit but we have a release date to hit so… cut and print!”
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| "Error Loading; please disconnect and try again." "Meh, it's probably fine." |
Then there’s Wonder Woman who is refusing to lead because her not-quite-boyfriend died nearly a century ago (because feminism!). Aquaman’s around, playing the dude you reluctantly lend your car to, only to have it returned with an empty tank and a dead hooker in the trunk because ‘SPRING BREAK WHOO!’; Flash, who’s only direction in this movie must have been ‘BE FUCKING QUIRKY!’ while being beaten by Warner’s Executives, and the most useless, jokey version of Batman we have seen since Batman and Robin.
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| "This is why Superman works alone... Or he would if I wasn't directly responsible for his death." |
However, I will say that Justice League was able to at least pepper in one very poignant character moment, when Peter Parker Barry Allen was genuinely scared to ‘do battle’ and Batman tells him to ‘save one person’ and he’ll know what to do from there. It was really cool to see the interaction of a grizzled Batman mentoring a new generation of hero and Flash’s realization that maybe he does have what it takes to run in the big leagues (Sidebar, has anyone else noticed that Hollywood’s go-to for the visual representation of super speed is to have the characters run in slow motion?). Hell, even seeing a Green Lantern for the first time in this universe was enough to give me chills. But the thing about moments like these is that since we don’t really have any emotional connection to these cardboard cut-outs, they feel like things that ‘just happen’ in the movie as opposed to being a moments that actually matter. I know that there are a lot of people that got that tingly feeling in their undercarriages finally seeing the world’s finest assemble unite, but Justice League just didn’t do it for me.
Oh yeah, Superman’s in this movie too and he smiles. That’s pretty neat.
5) Spider-Man: Homecoming
Oh yeah, Superman’s in this movie too and he smiles. That’s pretty neat.
5) Spider-Man: Homecoming
I had definitely cooled on Spider-Man leading up to this movie. The character responsible for getting me into comics and comic book movies in the first place had not had a good movie for 13 years, and the fact that he was getting ANOTHER goddamn reboot made me violently (but appropriately) upset. Another Peter Parker story? Seriously? I know that racists run the country and you don’t want to insult them, but can you please give us Miles Morales already? And I don’t mean whatever the hell that animated movie is going to be.
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| Goddamn it, Sony. |
I mean a flesh-and-blood actor in the MCU canon. Or if you really wanted Parker, why not recast him as something other than a lily-white kid from across the pond? Give his character some much-needed pigment instead of making him yet another White kid who won the lottery. I couldn’t muster up the excitement for this one; even the promotional stuff hit me with the same emotional resonance as buying new socks from Target. I mean yeah, it’s cool that I have new socks but I’m not going to stand in the men’s department doing back flips about it.
But I have to admit, the unprecedented union between Sony and Disney really paid off, as Spider-Man: Homecoming is a very enjoyable movie from start to finish. The act of putting Parker back in high school and giving it a John Hughes vibe was a stroke of genius, the humor mostly lands, and it does a great job of showing how the average person functions in a world ruled by gods and monsters. But for all its virtues, it’s hard to shake the feeling that we’ve been down this road before. “Oh gosh, I hope Spider-Man can overcome that inner turmoil and realize he had the power inside him all along!” “Well I hope that the villain isn’t the father of one of Peter’s close friends who built himself a flying machine to get revenge for a business deal gone wrong and who enjoys the color green!”
But I have to admit, the unprecedented union between Sony and Disney really paid off, as Spider-Man: Homecoming is a very enjoyable movie from start to finish. The act of putting Parker back in high school and giving it a John Hughes vibe was a stroke of genius, the humor mostly lands, and it does a great job of showing how the average person functions in a world ruled by gods and monsters. But for all its virtues, it’s hard to shake the feeling that we’ve been down this road before. “Oh gosh, I hope Spider-Man can overcome that inner turmoil and realize he had the power inside him all along!” “Well I hope that the villain isn’t the father of one of Peter’s close friends who built himself a flying machine to get revenge for a business deal gone wrong and who enjoys the color green!”
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| Though the prom scene with Harry would have been amazing. |
More than just the familiar beats, the movie is mostly forgettable. It’s hard to pull out memorable quotes or sequences besides the big twist near the end of the movie. This doesn’t make Homecoming bad by any means, but it is interesting to see that the most popular, recognizable character in comic books produced a movie that that was mostly just fine and we’re counting it as a win.
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| Really puts those Amazing Spider-Man movies into context though, don't it? |
Despite these faults, Spider-Man: Homecoming allowed me to like Spider-Man again and left me interested enough to see where the character goes in Avengers: Infinity War.
4) Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
This is the film that I wanted to like a lot more than I ended up liking it, and it’s all because of the humor. Marvel’s forte has become its Achilles Heel, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is worse for it. That’s not to say that Vol. 2 is a bad movie. In fact, a lot of the gripes I had in the first movie were fixed in this one. Ego was a pretty satisfying villain, we got more into the relationship of Gamora and Nebula, Yondu and Rocket stole the fucking show, and the climactic battle is balls-to-the-wall, crazy visuals that makes Doctor Strange look like a historical drama.
In addition, Thanos, who has no screen time in this movie, is made wholly terrifying in the way that Nebula describes him. But despite all of the improvements and character work, Vol. 2 feels like it’s trying way too hard to be the life of the party. Much like the dude you invite to hang out of obligation, Vol. 2 spends a lot of time mistaking toilet humor for highbrow hilarity and thinks that everything coming out of its mouth is comedic gold. So, you know, like hanging out with me.
4) Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
This is the film that I wanted to like a lot more than I ended up liking it, and it’s all because of the humor. Marvel’s forte has become its Achilles Heel, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is worse for it. That’s not to say that Vol. 2 is a bad movie. In fact, a lot of the gripes I had in the first movie were fixed in this one. Ego was a pretty satisfying villain, we got more into the relationship of Gamora and Nebula, Yondu and Rocket stole the fucking show, and the climactic battle is balls-to-the-wall, crazy visuals that makes Doctor Strange look like a historical drama.
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| Is there anything Benedict Cumberbatch can't do? Besides an American accent? |
In addition, Thanos, who has no screen time in this movie, is made wholly terrifying in the way that Nebula describes him. But despite all of the improvements and character work, Vol. 2 feels like it’s trying way too hard to be the life of the party. Much like the dude you invite to hang out of obligation, Vol. 2 spends a lot of time mistaking toilet humor for highbrow hilarity and thinks that everything coming out of its mouth is comedic gold. So, you know, like hanging out with me.
While most of the characters mostly navigate the humor-mine field relatively unscathed, Drax is left the most mangled. Having essentially nothing to do and no arc, Drax is relegated to a tertiary comic relief. Instead of actually destroying anything, Drax spends his screen time asking about godly penises, regaling his father’s sexual triumphs, and almost vomiting with the thought of getting funky with Mantis. So, you know, sex stuff! Hilarity!
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| That's right, just laugh through the pain, clown. No one will see your tears. |
And that’s where this movie loses me. Instead of allowing the humor to flow naturally and organically, we get a scene of Kurt Russel peeing in the woods. You don’t always have to go for the joke, Guardians. We already like you. That having been said Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 is still able to deliver on the emotion, action, and musical goodness that has become surprisingly synonymous with the franchise. I hope that for Vol. 3, director James Gunn and company are able to rein it in a bit and deliver a wholly satisfying (final?) chapter to the current iteration of the Guardians.
3) Wonder Woman
Story time. I saw Wonder Woman with the wife, as I do most movies. As I watch, I pick up character moments, single out faults, and feel that welling of emotion inside me as Diana crosses No Man’s Land (GET IT?!?). After the movie, I look over at the wife, who’s wearing the expression of somebody who just had a hardcore religious experience. Or acid trip. She looks at me and says: “That was perfect.” Now, that movie was far from perfect. The CGI seems shockingly dated, the team full of stereotypes they assembled have performances ranging from ‘decent’ to ‘elementary school play’ quality, and the third act consists of Super Mario hurling lightning bolts at our protagonist.
But when the wife said that the movie was perfect, she didn’t mean that it was free from flaws or plot holes. When she said Wonder Woman was perfect, what she meant was: “I am finally represented in a way that that is both respectful and badass, and I didn’t realize until now that this was the movie I’ve been waiting for my entire life.” When everything is geared to your particular tastes and demographic, it’s easy to forget that there are still people waiting to see themselves on the big screen.
What director Patty Jenkins is able to do with this story is pretty remarkable. We are effectively introduced to the world of the ‘old gods,’ the love story between Steve Trevor and Diana is believable (if a little unnecessary), and the film isn’t afraid to shy away from the horrors of war. But where this movie really shines is in Diana’s arc and her depiction. Diana spends the whole movie as this naïve, optimistic warrior who thinks that if she can slay The God of War, she will restore peace to the world. When she realizes that this isn’t the way the world works, she makes the decision that while humanity is mostly garbage, it is still worth saving. Not since Steve Rogers have we had an on-screen interpretation of a comic book character so closely mirror what is on the page. Diana isn’t about self-preservation, revenge, or personal gain. Diana is good for the sake of being good, and in a world that’s falling apart, Diana might be the timeliest and most important character we have right now. I hope that DC realizes what they have and that this becomes the new-normal for their storytelling moving forward.
3) Wonder Woman
Story time. I saw Wonder Woman with the wife, as I do most movies. As I watch, I pick up character moments, single out faults, and feel that welling of emotion inside me as Diana crosses No Man’s Land (GET IT?!?). After the movie, I look over at the wife, who’s wearing the expression of somebody who just had a hardcore religious experience. Or acid trip. She looks at me and says: “That was perfect.” Now, that movie was far from perfect. The CGI seems shockingly dated, the team full of stereotypes they assembled have performances ranging from ‘decent’ to ‘elementary school play’ quality, and the third act consists of Super Mario hurling lightning bolts at our protagonist.
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| "Itsa me! Your doom!" |
But when the wife said that the movie was perfect, she didn’t mean that it was free from flaws or plot holes. When she said Wonder Woman was perfect, what she meant was: “I am finally represented in a way that that is both respectful and badass, and I didn’t realize until now that this was the movie I’ve been waiting for my entire life.” When everything is geared to your particular tastes and demographic, it’s easy to forget that there are still people waiting to see themselves on the big screen.
What director Patty Jenkins is able to do with this story is pretty remarkable. We are effectively introduced to the world of the ‘old gods,’ the love story between Steve Trevor and Diana is believable (if a little unnecessary), and the film isn’t afraid to shy away from the horrors of war. But where this movie really shines is in Diana’s arc and her depiction. Diana spends the whole movie as this naïve, optimistic warrior who thinks that if she can slay The God of War, she will restore peace to the world. When she realizes that this isn’t the way the world works, she makes the decision that while humanity is mostly garbage, it is still worth saving. Not since Steve Rogers have we had an on-screen interpretation of a comic book character so closely mirror what is on the page. Diana isn’t about self-preservation, revenge, or personal gain. Diana is good for the sake of being good, and in a world that’s falling apart, Diana might be the timeliest and most important character we have right now. I hope that DC realizes what they have and that this becomes the new-normal for their storytelling moving forward.
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| Plus, you know. Goddamn. |
2) Thor: Ragnarok
I have not been able to get Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song out of my head since the trailer for this flick dropped in April. Even then I knew that Thor: Ragnarok was going to be a wholly different experience than any other Thor movie thus far. I know that there are a lot of people out there that feel like Ragnarok does not take itself seriously enough to add any real stakes to the story of the destruction of Asgard. To those people, I say that you’re right. I love the irreverence of this movie, I love the subversion of expectations, and I love that (unlike Guardians) Ragnarok never feels like it’s going for the joke. Instead, it relies on the charisma and comedic timing of each of the actors, resulting in jokes that feel fresh and organic. The issue with making an all-out comedy, however, is that it undercuts a lot of the emotional impact that this movie could have potentially had. In a sea of visual gags and Goldblum one-liners, my favorite moment is when Odin expresses his pride in both of his sons, and Loki looks at him surprised. It’s a small, subtle, quiet moment, but it struck a tone that I wish the film leaned on more heavily.
I have not been able to get Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song out of my head since the trailer for this flick dropped in April. Even then I knew that Thor: Ragnarok was going to be a wholly different experience than any other Thor movie thus far. I know that there are a lot of people out there that feel like Ragnarok does not take itself seriously enough to add any real stakes to the story of the destruction of Asgard. To those people, I say that you’re right. I love the irreverence of this movie, I love the subversion of expectations, and I love that (unlike Guardians) Ragnarok never feels like it’s going for the joke. Instead, it relies on the charisma and comedic timing of each of the actors, resulting in jokes that feel fresh and organic. The issue with making an all-out comedy, however, is that it undercuts a lot of the emotional impact that this movie could have potentially had. In a sea of visual gags and Goldblum one-liners, my favorite moment is when Odin expresses his pride in both of his sons, and Loki looks at him surprised. It’s a small, subtle, quiet moment, but it struck a tone that I wish the film leaned on more heavily.
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| On the other hand, Goldblum. |
But honestly, this is a minor gripe. Ragnarok was easily the most fun I’ve had at the movies this year. Hemsworth was finally able to lean into the ridiculousness of the character to give us a Thor performance (per-Thor-mance?) that we haven’t seen yet, which to me is great since I feel like he’s been one of the weaker links in the MCU for a while now. Valkyrie was a welcome new addition and one that I hope keeps popping up in future flicks, Loki was able to save the day without betraying his character, Hulk being able to talk added another dimension to Mark Ruffalo’s performance, Jeff Goldblum was at his Blumiest, and Cate Blanchett was… well, a standard Marvel villain, but damn if she didn’t look good doing it. And when the Hell are we going to get a Korg webseries?!
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| "Hi there, I'm Korg, and I'm ready when you are." |
Watching this movie made me legitimately sad that Hemsworth’s contract is up after Avengers 4, because I feel like Marvel finally has a beat on who Thor should be in this universe: a kind-hearted, powerfully simple oaf. Here’s hoping that Hemsworth re-ups and we get The Thor Comedy Hour until the inevitable heat death of the universe.
1) Logan
Before 2008, I couldn’t have ever imagined that we would have gotten something as perfect and groundbreaking as The Dark Knight. After 2008, I didn’t think that we would ever get something as good as The Dark Knight again. Yeah, I love Marvel and will defend every movie the studio puts out, but there has not been another comic book movie that came close to replicating the art that was The Dark Knight. Until Logan. Hugh Jackman’s final turn as Wolverine is a simple movie: In a world where mutants are all but extinct, a reluctant Logan is tasked with taking his clone daughter to Canada in order to protect her from those that are hunting her. The universe isn’t at stake, there is no big-bad threatening to conquer the world. Just a guy doing the right thing for reasons he doesn’t fully understand. The film is full of noteworthy performances, especially from Jackman, Patrick Stewart, and Dafne Keen. The quiet moments are just as powerful as the violent ones, and the R-rating allows director James Mangold to show just how a man with knives in his hands would function in the real world.
1) Logan
Before 2008, I couldn’t have ever imagined that we would have gotten something as perfect and groundbreaking as The Dark Knight. After 2008, I didn’t think that we would ever get something as good as The Dark Knight again. Yeah, I love Marvel and will defend every movie the studio puts out, but there has not been another comic book movie that came close to replicating the art that was The Dark Knight. Until Logan. Hugh Jackman’s final turn as Wolverine is a simple movie: In a world where mutants are all but extinct, a reluctant Logan is tasked with taking his clone daughter to Canada in order to protect her from those that are hunting her. The universe isn’t at stake, there is no big-bad threatening to conquer the world. Just a guy doing the right thing for reasons he doesn’t fully understand. The film is full of noteworthy performances, especially from Jackman, Patrick Stewart, and Dafne Keen. The quiet moments are just as powerful as the violent ones, and the R-rating allows director James Mangold to show just how a man with knives in his hands would function in the real world.
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| He can apparently do everything except shave. |
It’s gory, but with purpose.
I can talk for years about what makes this movie great and why it should be nominated for Best Picture, but really I just want to talk about one aspect that we have not seen in a superhero movie thus far: Logan allows Wolverine’s story to end. Think about that for a minute. And don’t give me that The Dark Knight Rises bullshit that completely negates Bruce Wayne’s character development in 30 second or less because Nolan didn’t have the ovaries to kill Batman. No, I’m talking about an honest-to-character, fully realized finale for one of the most defining superheroes of our generation. This movie had no interest in franchise building; no intention of spawning sequels or prequels or reboot-quels. All Logan was concerned about was telling a character driven story about coming to terms with what you’ve done and having the strength to move past it. I never thought we would see the end of Wolverine. I thought that eventually, Jackman would get too old and they would recast Logan as Zac Efron or something. And with Disney having just bought 20th Century Fox, that may still happen. But as the life leaves Logan’s eyes and Laura delivers her eulogy, I cannot think of a more perfect way to say ‘good-bye’ to Hugh Jackman and The Wolverine.
I can talk for years about what makes this movie great and why it should be nominated for Best Picture, but really I just want to talk about one aspect that we have not seen in a superhero movie thus far: Logan allows Wolverine’s story to end. Think about that for a minute. And don’t give me that The Dark Knight Rises bullshit that completely negates Bruce Wayne’s character development in 30 second or less because Nolan didn’t have the ovaries to kill Batman. No, I’m talking about an honest-to-character, fully realized finale for one of the most defining superheroes of our generation. This movie had no interest in franchise building; no intention of spawning sequels or prequels or reboot-quels. All Logan was concerned about was telling a character driven story about coming to terms with what you’ve done and having the strength to move past it. I never thought we would see the end of Wolverine. I thought that eventually, Jackman would get too old and they would recast Logan as Zac Efron or something. And with Disney having just bought 20th Century Fox, that may still happen. But as the life leaves Logan’s eyes and Laura delivers her eulogy, I cannot think of a more perfect way to say ‘good-bye’ to Hugh Jackman and The Wolverine.
One Last Look
Every year, there are news outlets that discuss ‘superhero fatigue’ at length. Every year, it’s the same question: How many superhero movies is too many? I can’t see the trend changing in 2018; next year is going to be another busy year for comic book properties. For Marvel. DC needs this time to rest and regroup apparently. We have *deep breath* Black Panther, The New Mutants, Avengers: Infinity War, Deadpool 2, Ant-Man and the Wasp, Venom, X-Men: Dark Phoenix, and Aquaman. It’s a lot. Hell, even trying to find the desire time to see Justice League before the end of this year was a challenge for me, and I live for this stuff. But I firmly believe that the genre will continue to thrive for two reasons. The first is that I’ve noticed a shift from ‘set piece’ storytelling to character driven stories. All of the movies listed above made us care just a little bit more about the characters in some way. Whether it was Yondu’s funeral from Guardians, Peter Parker realizing he doesn’t need the suit, or Diana’s crossing of No Man’s Land, each of these films not only crafted beautiful visuals, but took the time to make the set pieces mean something to our heroes. As long as the studios and filmmakers can remain focused on giving our heroes reason and complexity, we’ll continue to turn out in droves.
The second reason, and the more personal one for me, is that I need to remember that there is hope beyond this moment in time. The reason I keep seeing these movies, the reason that they resonate so much with me is because right now, is that I need helping finding the light in the darkness. In some way, each of these movies was able to give me that this year. Against insurmountable odds, against the whole world saying “no you can’t,” against the destruction of everything one loves, against the reality of one’s own mortality, we get back up; not because it’s easy, but because we have the obligation and the opportunity to make the world better for others out there, even if we have to sacrifice a part of ourselves to do it.
Because that’s what heroes do.
The second reason, and the more personal one for me, is that I need to remember that there is hope beyond this moment in time. The reason I keep seeing these movies, the reason that they resonate so much with me is because right now, is that I need helping finding the light in the darkness. In some way, each of these movies was able to give me that this year. Against insurmountable odds, against the whole world saying “no you can’t,” against the destruction of everything one loves, against the reality of one’s own mortality, we get back up; not because it’s easy, but because we have the obligation and the opportunity to make the world better for others out there, even if we have to sacrifice a part of ourselves to do it.
Because that’s what heroes do.
-James
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