DAY 6
In 2012, the nerd world was in a fever pitch, and the
rivaling clans were about to go to war. On the wrong one side, there was the D.C. camp,
parading around Nolan as a god and claiming perfection for his next film The Dark Knight Rises. I never put stock
in that camp though. Was I excited? Absolutely, but I knew that there was no
way that The Dark Knight Rises could
live up to the expectations set by The
Dark Knight. It didn’t help that Nolan had expressed his disinterest in
making another Batman film in the first place.
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| Where's your messiah now?! |
No, I was playing at something even riskier. I was in the
Marvel camp, cheering for The Avengers
to claim superiority over D.C. once and for all. Things, as you can imagine,
quickly turned ugly. The Flame Wars engulfed the internet in a way not seen
since Heath Ledger was announced as the Joker.
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| Begun, The Flame Wars Have. |
In reality, nobody knew which
movie would win the summer and, due to the unfortunate events in Aurora, CO,
that question forever remains unanswered.
Marvel was attempting something unprecedented. Combining
four franchises into one movie was unheard of, and several people didn’t think
that it was possible. If Marvel was
to pull it off, there is no way that the movie would reach the box office or
critical acclaim of The Dark Knight .
. . right? As I’m sure you all know, that is exactly what happened. Marvel exceeded
all expectations, broke almost every record set before it, and made cinematic
history, all while people ran around in silly costumes.
What They Did Right
Thank You For Your
Cooperation
I still hate Scarlett Johannson as this character. Like, *passion
that burns with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns* hate. Read my Iron Man 2 retrospective. You’ll
basically see hate dripping down your monitor. My feelings aside (and it fills
me with both relief and nausea to say this), Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow) somehow
ceases to be just a plump ass in leather tights and becomes a fully formed,
well-developed character. Romanoff is a duplicitous master of manipulation, which
leads to a brilliant scene between her and Loki. It would have been easy to
make Romanoff the “token hot girl” of the movie, but the film makers are able
to give her more than enough to do to keep her interesting and make her a
valuable asset to the team. Despite Scar Jo’s performance.
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| Just wait until Winter Soldier, Bitch. |
It’s Won By Soldiers
Of all of the Avengers, Captain America had the most to
prove coming into this movie. As I mentioned in my Captain America: The First Avenger retrospective, people were less
than enthused with the star-spangled soldier’s solo film. People were clamoring
to see every Avenger besides Steve
Rogers. What could this ordinary (albeit, super strong) man do against the might
of the gods? Well, for starters, Rogers plays the level-headed moral compass of
the team. No, please don’t fall asleep, it’s not as boring as it sounds. Captain
America is the one who tries to talk Stark out of fighting Thor and subsequently
breaks up the fight. During the Battle of New York, Rogers is the one that
decides that containment is the best plan of action, creates a perimeter, and
concocts a plan to lead people to safety.
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| Suck it, Snyder! |
Though not the
strongest or most exciting of the Avengers, Rogers is the only person able to provide
focus and direction for the team.
You Want Me To Put The
Hammer Down?!
Thor has never been my favorite Avenger, but it is this
particular story that makes me relate to him in a way I never thought I would.
All the God of Thunder wants is to bring his brother home. Throughout the entire
movie, from freeing Loki from S.H.I.E.L.D. custody to the final battle scene,
Thor pleads with his little brother to give up his childish fantasy of being
king and return to Asgard. Thor grapples with where to draw the line. Should he
protect Loki from the other Avengers? How far is he willing to go to stop his
brother? This emotional attachment carries over until Thor finally confronts
Loki on Stark Tower. After one last desperate plea to end the madness, Thor
unleashes all of his rage and hostility directly into Loki’s face. As a
brother, I understand the desire to want to beat the ever-loving shit out of a
sibling who refuses to listen. The Thor and Loki relationship is one of the
defining factors of the story, and helps The
Avengers transcend other movies in the genre.
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| Thor: "You were adopted." Loki: "Yeah, I got it, jackass, thanks." |
I Don’t Every Time Get
What I Want
Another film, another face. The character of Bruce Banner
was starting to feel like the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at
Hogwarts. While I was disappointed that we wouldn’t see Ed Norton reprise his role as the good doctor, I was interested to see what new direction Mark Ruffalo
would bring to the character. It may have taken them three movies, but Marvel
finally cast the perfect Banner. While charming and funny, Ruffalo made you
believe that there was always a darkness bubbling just below the surface. However, it wasn’t just his one-liners or his
turn as “the other guy” that made Ruffalo perfect. Rather, it was the sympathy
he created in little character moments. I’m sure people seldom remember his
line above, but it’s one of my favorites. Romanoff (*sigh* Scarlett Johannson)
goes to collect Banner to help S.H.I.E.L.D. find the tesseract. It is during
this scene that he touches a swinging cradle and quietly utters the line. It’s
easy to forget that Earth’s Mightiest Heroes were once ordinary people with
hopes for a future. In sharp contrast to Rogers, Banner brings the illusion of
heroism crashing down around us.
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| Just, hang on. Let me grab a Snickers. You won't like me when I'm hungry. |
I’m Bringing The
Party To You
I mean, what can I say that hasn't already been said? Tony has one of the more interesting arcs in the film. He
goes from being the self-centered jackass we all know and love to being the
self-centered jackass we all know and love, but who is also willing to
sacrifice himself for the betterment of humanity. Stark was never a hero, and even
Rogers says as much. His main reason for fighting Stane was to protect his
patents, while his beef with Vanko came down to an “it’s him or me” scenario.
This is the first time that we see Tony Be the hero, make the sacrifice play,
and save Manhattan. While his character won’t come full circle until the
following year’s Iron Man 3, it’s
nice to see some development in a character we thought we knew. *Side Note* As an AC/DC fan, I'm super excited that Shoot to Thrill is his new theme song.
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| Overkill is underrated. |
Joss Is Boss
While the word count would suggest otherwise, I was afraid of writing this post. This very well could have turned into a “remember
that one scene?!?!?!” post. Instead, I spent the last 936 words talking about
character development in a summer action movie. This a movie that simply
shouldn’t work. Too many characters, too many requirements, not enough screen
time. Yet, despite everything, Joss Whedon pulls it off. See, Whedon has the
knack of exceeding expectations by subverting them. Crazy meaningful soliloquy
coming up? Imma have a giant green rage monster pull you off screen. Aw man,
Loki caught that arrow? That would have really sucked if the ARROW HADN’T
EXPLODED RIGHT IN HIS FUCKING FACE! Whedon is the master at these types of
moments (at least, that’s what I gather from watching Firefly). And the dialogue! Not only is he able to inject realistic
humor in every character, but he is also able to give Loki and Thor a chance to
sound like they're actually from another world. The exchanges between the
brothers are some of my all-time favorites. Whedon does the impossible and creates
a cohesive, entertaining entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
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| Behold genius, in all its majesty. |
Assembled
It’s at this point that the post turns into a “remember that
one scene?!?!?!” post. Watch the clips. Smile a bit. Laugh at the end. You
deserve it after wading through this schlock.
What They Did Wrong
Hawkeye
If you are paying attention, you notice that there is only
one Avenger missing from the “pro” column. While I enjoyed watching Clint
Barton (Hawkeye) use his trick arrows, shoot without looking, and otherwise
appear to be a badass, his character was the least polished of the group.
Barton spends about 90% of the movie as Loki’s lackey, before finally snapping
out of his spell for the final battle. Using Barton in this way, Whedon was
able to provide an avenue for Loki to get into the minds of the Avengers in a
satisfying and manipulative way. However, Hawkeye is lost in the crossfire. We
get the occasional looks and lines that offer insight into his psyche, but,
quite simply, there is no time left in the movie to develop the master archer. Much
like his cameo in Thor, Hawkeye feels
like a tacked-on afterthought.
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| Barton realizes he should have brought more than 12 arrows. |
The Avatar Conundrum
When James Camron’s Avatar
was released in 2009, one of my biggest issues in the movie (of which there
were many) was the design of the Na’vi. Camron created a world from the
ground-up, and could have given us the outright craziest shit he could think
of. He could have created talking sphincters that cried fire and shot
lightening from their eighteen nostrils if he wanted to! Instead, we get giant
blue cat-people. Such is the attitude I take with the Chitauri. Over the years,
comic book artists have brought some fairly crazy and messed up creations to
life. All Marvel had to do was open up a random Guardians of the Galaxy book, flip to a random page and point.
BOOM. A unique and interesting enemy for Loki to lead in glorious battle.
Instead, we get a grey-scaled, robot-skeleton army. Even though the only goal
they served was to be fodder for our heroes, the Chitauri had the potential to
be more than the faceless Orcs of the MCU.
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| Literally anything else would have been more interesting. |
Do Your Homework
Let me start off by saying that The Avengers is easily accessible to anyone willing to sit down and
watch it. Whedon peppers in enough exposition to fill any gaps for those who
have not watched the other films. HOWEVER. There had been five
Marvel movies before The Avengers. There
is absolutely no way to get the full experience without having seen the other
movies. Sure, you may not spot the Easter Eggs or understand the references, but
Coulson’s death is most influenced by the lack of viewership. The guy only
shows up for three of the six films, but I connected strongly with his
character, particularly after Thor. He is our geekiness come to life, and dies a hero. If
your only frame of reference for Agent Phil Coulson is The
Avengers, I can’t imagine his death would have nearly the same impact as having
followed his story since Iron Man.
The Necessities of
the Film
The Chitauri powering down after the mother ship was destroyed
is dumb. Everybody communicating during the final battle without any sort of
ear pieces is dumb. Creating a fail-safe for the portal is dumb. Captain America’s
costume and Hitler speech are dumb. With a two hour, thirty-minute run time,
there is a lot that we just kind of have to swallow in order for the movie to
end (I’m sure there’s a blowjob joke in there somewhere). Does it ruin the
movie? Of course not, but it’s these sorts of things that people love latching
onto. I would be remiss if I did not mention them.
That’s it. I can’t think of one more thing I want to add to
this list. Hell, I was even on the fence on adding these things. The Avengers is not a perfect movie, but
the good far outweighs the bad in every respect.
Final Thoughts
My cousins, friends and I sat in a crowded theater, dressed
as various Avengers on May 4th, 2012. The audience talked in
reverend hushes, secretly praying that this film, four years and five films in
the making, would live up to the hype. The lights dimmed and we all held our
breath. We laughed together, we gasped together. Each time a new hero was
introduced, the fans of that hero would cheer. Then came the scene. The perfect
scene. The scene I posted above. “That’s my secret, Captain,” says Banner. “I’m
always angry.” The crowd erupted, rivaling that of any sporting event I’ve been
to. The triumphant theme soared above the roar of the audience. In that moment we knew: Marvel had done the impossible,
and that made them mighty. The rest of the movie was a blur. Hulk smash Loki.
Nuke New York. Parting ways. Shawarma. Thanos. It didn’t matter. It all came
down to that one scene, that perfect scene, where the Avengers assembled for the first time
in cinematic history, and left every other movie studio scrambling to catch up.
1.
2. The Avengers
3.
4. Iron Man
5.
6. Captain America: The First Avenger
7.
8. Thor
9. Iron Man 2
10. The Incredible Hulk
END OF DAY 6
Whoo! I wasn't sure I would be able to see through the tears long enough to finish writing this! Yes, this movie makes me cry. Man tears. Of. . . manness. . . Only four films left folks! Let's see where they land! Thank you to all of my readers! Do you agree with my ranking? Are there any great moments or errant flaws that I missed? Am I the only one that shed tears during this movie? Does anybody know of a good shawarma place? Let me know in the comments below! #bringbackjustinhammer
Be kind to each other.
-James
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